Healing from Wounds: Embracing New Beginnings

Do you ever feel like something invisible is holding you back?

In my work with clients, I hear this again and again: "It's like there's some unseen force stopping me from being truly happy" or "I know what I need to do to be successful, but something always gets in the way." They describe it as an invisible hand pulling them back, a wall they can't see but keep hitting, or a saboteur living inside their own mind.

Does this resonate with you?

You're doing everything "right"—therapy, self-help books, positive affirmations—yet you still can't break through certain barriers. You achieve one goal only to find yourself stuck at the next level. Relationships start well but end in familiar disappointment. Success feels hollow or unreachable.

That invisible power? It has a name: core trauma.

What is Core Trauma?

Core trauma refers to the deeply embedded psychological wounds that form the foundation of our emotional struggles and behavioural patterns. Unlike isolated traumatic incidents, core trauma represents the fundamental beliefs and emotional pain that develop early in life—often in childhood—and continue to influence how we see ourselves, others, and the world.

What Makes a Trauma "Core"?

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  • Emotional neglect or abandonment

  • Chronic invalidation of feelings or needs

  • Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse

  • Witnessing domestic violence or parental conflict

  • Loss of a caregiver or significant disruption in attachment

  • Being shamed for natural expressions of self

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  The Hidden Impact

  What makes core trauma particularly insidious is how it operates beneath conscious awareness. It shapes our automatic responses, triggers disproportionate emotional reactions, and creates repetitive patterns in relationships and life choices. You might find yourself:

  
  

  • Sabotaging relationships when intimacy deepens

  • Feeling fundamentally unworthy despite external success

  • Overworking to prove your value

  • Struggling with emotional regulation

  • Attracting similar dynamics repeatedly

  
  

  These aren't character flaws—they're protective mechanisms your psyche developed to survive unbearable situations.

  
  

  The Path Forward

  Healing core trauma isn't about "getting over it" or positive thinking. It requires:

  
  

  • Acknowledgment: Recognising that something significant happened and it wasn't your fault

  • Grieving: Allowing yourself to feel the pain you couldn't process then

  • Reparenting: Learning to give yourself what you didn't receive

  • Integration: Building new neural pathways through consistent, corrective experiences

  • Compassion: Treating yourself with the gentleness you deserved all along

  
  

  Therapy modalities like EMDR, Internal Family Systems, somatic experiencing, and trauma-focused CBT can be particularly effective for working with core wounds.

  
  

  Starting Fresh

  Core trauma may have shaped you, but it doesn't have to define you. With support and intentional work, these old wounds can heal. The patterns can shift. You can develop secure attachment, emotional regulation, and genuine self-worth—not because you've erased the past, but because you've integrated it with wisdom and self-compassion.

  Your core trauma is just part of your story. With the right support and healthy dose of self love, you can re-write your story and offer yourself a fresh beginning. Are you ready