The True Cost of Living Without Authenticity

Last Tuesday, I watched a senior director practice her presentation three times before a team meeting. Each time, she softened her language, removed her personal stories, and flattened her natural enthusiasm into what she called “executive presence.”When I asked why, she said: “Because that’s what professionals do.” But here’s what I’ve noticed in my years as an ICF-certified coach: the professionals who feel most drained, disconnected, and unfulfilled are often the ones working hardest to be “professional.” 

The Price of Performance

We’ve been taught that professional success requires a certain performance. Measure your words. Control your emotions. Separate “work you” from “real you.” The problem? Maintaining two versions of yourself is exhausting and not sustainable long term. I see this pattern repeatedly with my clients: 

• The marketing executive who has brilliant ideas in the car ride home but stays silent in team meetings

• The team leader who masks their struggles, then wonders why their team won’t open up either and speak up what's really going on

• The rising star who feels increasingly empty with each promotion

They’re succeeding on paper. But something essential is missing. Their true selves

What Authenticity Actually Means at Work?

Authenticity isn’t about oversharing or disregarding professional boundaries. It’s not about bringing every personal problem to the office or abandoning tact.

Real authenticity at work means:

• Aligning your values with your actions, even when it’s uncomfortable

• Speaking up about what matters to you, not just what you think others want to hear

• Showing up as one integrated person, rather than fragmenting yourself into acceptable pieces

• Building relationships based on truth, not performanceIt means making choices that feel like you made them, not choices that feel like you should make them. 

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TAKE FIRST STEP

The Ripple Effect

Here’s what shifts when professionals start practicing authenticity: Their energy returns. When you’re not spending mental bandwidth maintaining a facade, you have more capacity for actual work. One client told me she felt like she’d found an extra three hours in her day simply by dropping the exhausting performance. Their influence grows. Counterintuitively, people who show appropriate vulnerability and realness are more respected, not less. We trust people we can see. Their work becomes meaningful again. When you can bring your actual values and perspective to your role, even mundane tasks can feel purposeful.

The Questions That Changed Everything

In my coaching practice, I often start with these questions:

• What do you believe you’re not saying at work?

• What part of yourself are you leaving at the door each morning?

• If you could be 20% more yourself at work, what would that look like?

• How would you feel every day when you are authentic at work?

The answers usually surprise my clients. Not because they’re dramatic, but because they’re so simple. “I’d admit when I don’t know something.” “I’d pitch the unconventional idea.” “I’d stop pretending to agree.” Small things. But carrying them silently has been heavy.

Starting Your Authenticity Practice

You don’t have to revolutionise your entire professional identity tomorrow. Authenticity is a practice, not a declaration.Try this: identify one small area where you’re performing rather than being. Maybe it’s how you open meetings. Or how you respond to “How are you?” Or what you share about your weekend.Make one authentic choice. See what happens. Often, nothing catastrophic occurs. In fact, you might notice people leaning in rather than pulling away. You might feel lighter. You might remember why you chose this work in the first place. 

The Work That Matters

As a coach, I’ve learned that sustainable success isn’t built on performance. It’s built on presence. Not the kind of presence that means showing up to every meeting, but the kind that means showing up as yourself. The professionals I work with aren’t looking for permission to be unprofessional. They’re looking for permission to be whole. To bring their full intelligence, creativity, and humanity to their work. Because here’s the truth: your authenticity isn’t a liability to manage. It’s the very thing that makes you irreplaceable.

What would change for you if you brought 20% more of your authentic self to work? 

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

As an ICF- accredited coach, I help high-achieving professionals solve their personal struggles, so they can fully step into their power, while staying true to themselves. I love it when people are ready to embrace their authenticity and lead from a place of alignment rather than performance. If this resonates, let’s connect. info@virtuallythrive.com